Last Chemo Treatment

Had my last chemo treatment today, we thought this day would never come!  It was fairly routine.  My labs were good and white blood cell count above normal meaning I would not have to go back tomorrow for the Neulasta shot.  The visit with the oncologist went well too, my echo-cardiogram from last week results were all positive, no visible issues with my heart from treatments.  I meet with the surgeon tomorrow to lay out the surgery plan, and won't meet with my oncologist again until after surgery to review the pathology report.

We made a special gift for the nurses who have been so kind and generous throughout this process.  We made a thank you poster and the boys used finger paint to paint handprints on it - thanks for giving our mom a hand!  We also took them some tasty treats.  The nurses all enjoyed the poster and the treats, and gave mom lots of hugs after finishing my treatment.

I also had a very big surprise at my treatment - a stop in from an old friend from Texas!  Erin Davis was driving from Maryland (Pax River) to Maine to pick up his girls after meeting their new baby cousin.  It's a long drive, but he went out of his way to stop in at MGH West to say hello.  His timing was great, I had ~30min left in chemo so we got to hang out for a bit, catch up, and give him a break from all the driving.  I wouldn't be able to make it through this process without all my supporters!

In the spirit of the 2016 Rio Olympics kicking off this week, this now completes the first leg of my cancer "triathlon".  Finishing chemo I have completed the hardest or "swim" portion of the triathlon, now I move into surgery the "bike" portion, then eventually radiation the "run" portion. Makes it 4 months down, ~3.5 months to go.  Reflecting back on chemo I had no idea what I was in for.  You can read about it, talk to others that have been there, but until you experience it and the side effects on your body you really don't know.  Like raising children, treating cancer takes a village.  I am incredibly thankful for my Mom giving up her summer to spend it here taking care of me and my family, my Dad and Terry for bringing meals or taking kids when we need the help, my brothers for visiting and bringing humor to any situation, and all my geographically dispersed friends and family for all the well wishes and care packages and yummy snacks that keep my house filled with positive energy and help convince me I can beat this - thank you all!  One big step down, two to go!

Radiation Plan Ahead

Today I met with the radiation oncologist at Emerson Hospital in Concord MA to discuss the radiation treatment plan.  Emerson is ~25min from the house and I will no longer have to fight I-95 traffic. While it was good to see their facilities and meet the doctor, it did seem a bit early because we don't have the surgical results yet to put the final radiation treatment plan or schedule in place.  Regardless, assuming I am able to stay on track for a lumpectomy (official name is breast conserving surgery), I would have my simulation mapping and tattooing the area for radiation ~3 weeks after surgery and start radiation ~4 weeks after surgery.  The regiment is 33 treatments (~5000 rads), 28 to administer to the breast / lymph nodes and 5 for a boost to the lymph nodes around my left clavicle (collar bone).  Assuming I have surgery mid to late Aug, I would start radiation mid to late Sept running for 6.5 weeks until early/mid Nov.  Radiation side effects are sunburn, fatigue, and some irritation/pain should the lung/heart/chest muscle get inadvertent radiation or heat from the radiation.  I will have to go to Emerson every weekday for 10-15 min of radiation.  When you receive radiation you lie on your back with your arms overhead and the machine whirls around you per the mapping instructions.  According to the doctor, and from what I've read, the fatigue with radiation builds over time culminating around 3 weeks.  While annoying they say it's not as bad as chemo.  The doctor thought given how well I am feeling on T chemo that I should feel the same in radiation.

Tonight I read the journal of a friend of a relative blogging her breast cancer journey.  The early entries brought back memories - the day I was diagnosed, the biopsy, the first chemo and subsequent side effects.  But her surgical experiences were not without issues and it reminded me that while I am feeling well now not to take anything for granted and be prepared for when things do go wrong.  I will be sure to ask my surgeon a lot of questions so I am prepared for bad or good news.  Am also hoping that the pop up "lump" in my right breast which seems to have disappeared does not pose any new issues that need to be considered for surgery.

The friend also said in her journal, and I have found true in my journey, that cancer does not affect just the one person but all those around her in this process.  I am forever grateful to my family and friends for stepping in to help us get through these difficult times!

The Hot & Cold Of It

One of the new side effects I've experienced with Taxol is hot/cold flashes.  They can occur at anytime and anywhere.  In the middle of the night a hot flash will wake me up and I'm peeling off sheets.  After only a couple minutes I'm freezing and I'm pulling the covers back up.  Sometimes the hot flashes last longer and I'm peeling off layers.  I did not experience this on AC chemo.

Another new side effect I've noticed is I'm losing my eyebrows.  I thought the hair loss was done!  Wonder if they'll ever grow back.  Looks funny too, they're patchy, kinda like a 4 year old tried to draw them on haha.

While these side effects are annoying I'm still feeling much better than on AC chemo.  I meet with the radiation doctors Monday to determine the next phase of the treatment plan.  Can't wait to put this cancer chapter behind me!

1st Trip on Chemo & 2nd Taxol

My second week on Taxol was very uneventful and we were able to take a trip to camp in Maine for July 4th weekend.  The water was warm and the weather was nice so we were able to do a lot outside. Since I was feeling so well we did a short hike on Cascade Falls (3/4 of the loop, ~1 mile).  I was also able to do some swimming which didn't hurt the port side unlike some yoga I tried earlier in the week.  It was great getting to see the grandparents and a couple of the Uncles for the weekend, and getting to forget about having cancer if only for a few days.  Only a few more months until this chapter is behind me!

Had my second Taxol treatment yesterday, 6 down and 2 to go.  All went well and I had a lot of energy afterward, did not need to nap.  This time I did not experience any of the sleep problems or the joint pain the first night like I had the first treatment.  The mouth sores are starting to return so will have to continue to brush my teeth and use the mouth rinse regularly.  Since my white blood cell count was up I did not have to get the Neulasta shot this time, will continue to monitor this over the remaining treatments.  Overall my energy level is better and starting tomorrow I plan to work in 10-30 min of exercise a day.  I need to combat some of the weight gain from the steroids!  Following chemo I will have surgery to remove the tumor cells and the port, then radiation.  I will be meeting with the radiation doctors soon to start laying out that treatment plan.

Erik and I in front of Bald Mtn - 3 Baldys!

1 Week After 1st Taxol Chemo

Had my first round of Taxol or "T" chemo last week.  What a long day at the hospital!  I have to go for labs, then meet with my oncologist, then off to chemo and the chemo takes 4 hours, so you're there for a good 7 hours.  There are just not enough good movies or TV shows to occupy me for 7 hours straight!  Maybe I should take up knitting.

For this chemo I had to take 4 steroid pills the night prior then they give you all kinds of drugs before the chemo including more steroids and Benadryl.  Some people have an allergic reaction to Taxol, thus the Benadryl, but thankfully I did not.  Taxol comes in a slow drip IV bag to also help manage the reactions, like I said it's a long process.

The 2-3 days following chemo I had horrible pain in my bones and muscles.  Felt like I could count the number of ribs and vertebrae in my spine.  It even hurt in my thigh bones, arm bones, and hand bones.  It was so sharp that during the night anytime I rolled over it would wake me up.  I tried taking Advil every 4 hours but it didn't help.  The final night I tried Tylenol PM and Ativan (sleeping pill) and finally got some rest.  I also found the night after chemo I woke up in the middle of the night wide awake.  All kinds of ideas were going through my head including career planning, thinking about the kids futures, and of course ski plans.  I tried getting up, moving around, and going back to sleep but had no luck.  When I saw the nurse the next day she said that is typical due to the steroids administered with Taxol, maybe I should plan some cleaning those nights.  One thing I was not expecting was continued sore throat, hoarseness, and mouth sores - thought those were over with AC but found I am still having some on Taxol.  I continue to brush and rinse my mouth after every meal and avoid foods that irritate my mouth (failed that today with potato chips).  I'm also finding that I'm super thirsty and have to drink lots and lots of fluids on Taxol.  Today is the first time I've had a voice in 10 days, but expect this will still be on again/off again the rest of chemo.

By the end of the week after not getting much rest I crashed just like the nurse said I would.  I took a long nap Friday afternoon and took it easy on Saturday.  The aches and pains returned some at night at bedtime but for the most part I am fine during the day.  In fact I prefer not to nap because I wake up with some of those aches and stiffness.  Now, at a week later, I am feeling much more my normal self.  Instead of eating dinner and being exhausted from my day I find I have energy to play with my kids and put them to bed.  Or after the kids go to bed I can plan something for the family.  During AC my second week was hardest, I still have a week to go on Taxol but it definitely seems like an improvement.

Should also note that I got my oncologist to open up my FMLA leave by recommending me for 2 days of leave per week, and got it approved.  In addition to the 1 day every two weeks for treatment, I now have 2 days a week I can take time off due to illness from the side effects - this is good news!  The worst may be behind me now that I've finished AC but chemo has cumulative side effects like fatigue so it's nice knowing I have some extra time if I need it.

5 chemos down, 3 to go!!!

Final AC Chemo

It was with mixed feelings that I went for my 4th and final AC chemo treatment.  While I was happy it would be the last AC, the memory of the horrible sides affects was still fresh in my mind.  I had a new nurse for this treatment and she had a slightly different work flow which made me a little more nervous.  I found I couldn't even look at the AC when they were pumping it into me, like my body was fighting a nervous reaction like you do when you get a needle.  The night after my chemo felt like the first night - the extraterrestrial feeling, that a foreign body is inside you.  I got all shaky and twitchy and a little nauseous and it was difficult to go to sleep.  But by morning I felt more my normal self and was able to work a full day.  I am starting to develop the rattly cough again but am trying to stay up on my meds.

When I saw my oncologist the day of chemo he looked in my throat and could see signs of healing.  I'm expected to have the same horrible side affects again next week so he prescribed me oxycodone (pain killer) and told me I could double up on the Prilosec.  Can't wait.  Like the third chemo he said I was slightly anemic and if I was continuing AC I'd need a blood transfusion.

I will be switching to a new chemo drug called Taxol for my next visit which the oncologist, nurses, and cancer survivors all say is easier on the body.  For that my blood levels should rise and the throat / breathing issues go away but will be replaced by tingling in my finger tips and toes.  Think I can live with that.

The LM leave of absence policy is horrible.  Two years ago when Gary was on intermittent leave after I had Parker by c-section you entered what time you had to take when you took it and had up to 12 weeks in a calendar year.  Now, you have to call in your time by midnight every night you use it, and you have to enter it on your time sheet.  If you by chance make up the time later in the week you have to call back and adjust your time sheet.  And if you forget to call because you'd feeling chemo'd out and miserable you have to call back and beg to get the time.  I'm also only approved for 1 day every two weeks - craziness!  How can I schedule when I'm going to be miserable from side effects?  It is definitely not a policy to benefit the employee but rather the big corporation.  I am having to use a lot of vacation to cover this and I know I still have a long road ahead.

Despite the miserable side affects and the lame LoA policy, I try to keep my hopes and spirits up through all the well wishes I get from everyone - cards, flowers, texts, emails, visitors, etc.  I get a lot of support from Gary and Mom always making sure I've taken my meds, that I'm getting food, that I'm feeling ok.  And the wonderful meals from Terry and Dad to help me with my nutritional needs.  And Mom does a great job keeping the house in order, no easy task with two little boy tornados.  In that sense I am very blessed to have my wonderful family and friends to help me get through this.  Thank you all!!!

Last AC Chemo

Mom's Encouragement

3rd Chemo Side Effects - The Horrible Cough

Following my third AC chemo treatment I had horrible side effects.  By the weekend after the treatment I was having coughing fits, difficultly breathing, and rattling in my lungs.  The worst of it would come in the middle of the night and right after waking in the morning.  It was followed by a heat flash.  The only way I could settle these cough fits was to get through them and put ice on my back or chest.  In addition I had severe throat pain and laryngitis.  It was so sore and miserable that I could only drink my meals.  I survived on protein shakes, applesauce, pudding, and very mushy mashed potatoes.  And I could barely work because I could barely talk,  I was miserable.  I wondered if they could just knock me out for a week and hook me to a feeding tube.  Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Mom and Gary forced me to go see my PCP.  She still wanted to treat me for allergies so I got a prescription cough suppressant and Mucinex.  After sharing this with my oncologist he gave me a prescription for Prilosec an antacid as he's thinking it's the chemo affecting acid reflux and causing the terrible burning in my throat and leading to my other symptoms.

After a week of misery, by the second weekend after my treatment, I was feeling more normal, able to eat solid food again, and with enough energy to be able to put my kids down for bed.  Just in time for chemo treatment #4 (last AC).

It was this week I also got the terrible news that my counterpart at Pratt & Whitney, Eric Meyer, had been taken in to hospice care after finding another tumor in his brain after which he sent a note to his leadership resigning from his position.  Eric died within a week after suffering liver and kidney failure.  I wrote him a personal note for his sister to read to him at his bedside, but don't know if it made it in time.  His perspective on our companies, after working together for decades, and his dry humor will be missed.  Rest in peace my friend.