Another Eventful Week - No Chemo (Low RBC)

It's been an eventful week.  Last Thursday I had my follow up blood draw with Dr Belanger to check my immune system markers in my blood.  Following that appointment I was confined to bed throughout the weekend just too weak to do anything else.  I felt like I was coming down with an illness.  My family came to visit Saturday and I was able to muster enough energy to go downstairs and visit for awhile.  By Sunday night I was feeling really warm and my temperature came in at 101.1 deg.  We monitored it for about an hour, and it didn't change, time for my first ER visit.  We went to Emerson and after a lab draw, chest xrays (negative), and a conversation with my oncologist they sent me home with having a potential virus.  They did take a couple blood draws for cultures to determine if there is a bacterial infection somewhere, results are still pending.  Parker had been sick earlier in the week with a fever and cough, maybe I picked up a touch of that.

Tuesday I went in for my next Cis-Gem chemo, but unfortunately my red blood count was too low.  This was discussed as a possibility with the ER doc and my oncologist.  They took more blood and sent me home to return the next day for a blood transfusion.  They must have a whole closet of my blood in MGH by now.

Of all the tests, procedures, IVs, and injections I've received, a blood transfusion was still my biggest fear.  It stems from the days people could get HIV+/AIDs and knowing the medical profession is still prone to errors (like my last port).  A transfusion like that I could never recover from.  Knowing my heart was starting to pay the price for low red blood counts (elevated heart rate), and faintness of breath when I did any activity, I agreed to go through with it.  Today I took 560 cc's of red blood cells.  That's like 2 and 1/3 cups of blood.  It was transfused into me via my port over 2 bags, 2 hours each.  We waited an hour for the blood to arrive from downtown.  So it was another long day at the hospital.  The good news, my legs don't feel like boat anchors anymore, I can move!  The bad news, I saw my face in the mirror and started crying, I looked like a whole other person.  My face was swollen, bloctchy, and flushed.  I would never willingly go out looking like that.  Once my infusion was over I did all I could to get home quickly.

Feeling Sick

Getting Blood

2nd Round of Chemo & Balance

Today I finished my second round of chemo.  So now I have had two rounds of gemzar/cisplatin, and two rounds of just gemzar.  Cisplatin is a rough drug, I have to take steriods and nausea meds 3 days after plus magnesium and potassium for 7 days after.  When I get a cisplatin infusion they give me tons of fluids and ask that I stay well hydrated and urinate often so the drug doesn't impair my kidneys.  The gemzar is much easier as chemo drugs go.  It's a 30 min bag and I only have to take a nausea pill.

When I woke up this morning I knew it was going to be one of my low days, I just didn't feel well.  I didn't sleep well, I had nausea, and I felt incredibly weak.  Not the best day for chemo but I had to go through with it.  I had a small breakfast to get something in my system so I could tolerate the chemo.  When they connected the port and drew labs I got faint and had to lie down.  I felt that way for a couple hours.  They gave me fluids before chemo and that helped.  I also managed to eat a small bag of pretzels.  After my infusion I went home and slept the rest of the day.  I had planned to work the afternoon but my body wasn't up for it.

Living with cancer and chemo is all about finding balance.  I balance the pain with Advil and oxycodone.  I balance the nausea with small amounts of food or a nausea pill.  The hardest is the mouth sores which I try to manage with chamomile tea but it makes it difficult to take some of the larger pills and most of the supplements.  I have had to trim back on the supplements by about half.  I've also found that the arginine supplement gives me nausea.  I also stopped taking the TLC as vitamin C has mixed reviews on working with cisplatin and I already get the TL in the magnesium and potassium pills.

In my mind I try to stay positive and believe that the pain is my body fighting the tumors and that my energy level is better most days as a sign of healing.  I continue to eat mostly plant based foods and vegan.  I've cut out most sugars.  I haven't been able to give up meat completely but I try to make sure it is in small proportion to my vegetables.  Mom and I have had fun trying new vegan recipes including peanut soba noodles (peanut butter spaghetti we told the boys), blueberry farfalle salad, vegan soups, and mashed banana pancakes.  I thought I ate well before but there is so much temptation around us, foods high in refined flour and sugars or high in fatty dressings and oils.  We eat yet we are starving our bodies.  I have found little need for coffee since I have been eating better, and I attribute my good days with better energy to eating well.

Next week is my off week when my counts are expected to be lowest.  It's also the week we finally deploy the new software version I've spent so many hours supporting.  And it's almost April!