Today I found out I have cancer. Cancer. Isn't that something only old people are suppossed to get? According to Google 246,000 women a year (1 in 8, or 12%) are diagnosed with breast cancer. 2/3 of them are over age 55. <5% are under age 40. I'm 37. I have a wonderful husband and 2 wonderful boys ages 3 and 1. Both boys are within a month of their next birthday. I have no family history of breast cancer. I'm not a smoker. I've been healthy for 36 years of my life. This past year I stopped working out as much and put an emphasis on my job responsibilities and raising two active young boys.
About 6-8 weeks ago I felt a lump on my left breast in the shower. It didn't hurt and moved a bit. I figured it was just hardening of the milk ducts after nursing two children and getting older. About 3 weeks ago I felt a lump in my armpit. That one hurt when I pressed on it. At that point I decided to schedule an appointment with a doctor. We never scheduled ourselves a PCP after moving to Boston, so I had to go to a local urgent care center. After that exam they referred me to Lowell General Radiology for imaging. Had my first mammogram. Being an engineer that was so interesting - it's basically a 3D xray. They also did an ultrasound just like with a baby, and were able to measure the size of the lumps. Turns out there were 7, the others being below the first one I felt on my breast.
They scheduled me for a biopsy to take samples from 3 of 7 lumps. After applying a local numbing agent, they inserted a long needle with a hook to collect samples. They took 3-4 from each of the 3 lumps. The device clicked each time and I watched on live on the ultrasound. It was interesting and creepy at the same time. For the next couple of days I was very sore and brusied on my left side. I waited 4 days for the results.
The technical diagnosis is invasive ductal carcinoma or IDC. Basically it's invasive (spreading), from the milk ducts, cancer. The next step is to see the surgeon and oncology. Since it's in the lymph nodes now it has the potential to spread to other parts of the body, so I will undergo additional testing to see how far it's spread and options for treatment. From everything we've read it starts with surgery to remove the tumors then to some form of radiation and/or chemo based on how much it's spread and where.
Now all life's plans are on hold. No looking to buy a ski condo. No starting our family business. Busy work schedules, vacations, 20 yr reunions, weddings all on hold until we know the treatment plan. So much for getting back in shape too although I'm going to continue anyway if only for the stress relief. Poor Gary, he already does so much for our little household, how is he going to manage 2 young boys and a cancer patient. And poor Brady and Parker, they're so young, how will they understand why Mommy is sick and can't hold them like before.
Facebook memory reminded me that 4 yrs ago today I was standing in a bluebonnet field with a very pregnant belly. A year after that I was planning a 1 yr birthday party for Brady. A year after that I was very pregnant again with Parker. And a year after that I was with friend at Rangers opening day.
Well today was a very different kind of day I'll always remember. It was rainy all day today, but today I looked at things a little different and I think about things a little different now. Will I see this day again next year? Who knows, but you never know what tomorrow might bring.
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