Difficult Week

In the roller coaster ride called cancer, just when you think you've turned the corner, you see another 4,000 footer ahead.  After getting the bad news in the path report last week, we've been trying to figure out what's next.  My oncologist had the pathology lab run another hormone receptor test on the removed tissue - it came back "faint" ER+ (10-50%).  This is in addition to the previous pathology report MGH Boston ran on the biopsy slides (that we never had a copy of) that said 'weak' 10% ER+.  This is contradictory to the Lowell biopsy report that said "moderate" 60% ER+.  In essence this is saying the cancer is more "triple negative" type than "ER+" type which means it doesn't respond well to the standard cancer regiments that rely on drugs that stick to the hormone receptor cells and inhibit cancer cell growth.  Triple negative is also more common in young women, is regularly Grade 3, and is one of the more aggressive cancers.  So now I'm a Stage III triple-negative cancer patient which is honestly a little scary.

After talking with my oncologist and surgeon, I will be having a unilateral mastectomy on October 4th.  I will be in recovery for 3-4 weeks, then ~4 weeks after surgery I will start radiation.  During radiation I will take low dose Xeloda which is known for its effect on residual cancer (turns out it's pretty good for colon cancer too).  After radiation I will be on high dose Xeloda for 6 months.  Then the endocrine therapy Tamoxifen for 5 years.  My understanding is Xeloda is taken 2x/day, for 2 weeks on and 1 week off.  Also, I will be adding an new doctor to my cancer team - a reconstructive surgeon.  I will be meeting him next week and discussing my options for reconstruction.  My surgeon strongly discouraged me from pursuing an implant on the radiated side, she has never seen it be successful due to the hardening of the skin from the radiation causing the implant to be quite painful against your chest.  So if the cancer surgery to your underarm and chest weren't enough, they cut open your abdomen and use fatty tissue for the reconstruction.  And the cut is much wider than a c-section.  Am I going to look like Frankenstein after all this?

At this point my treatment has extended from 7 months to 15 months and possibly more depending on what we do with reconstruction.  My support team tries to keep me in good spirits, but this was a week I just needed to grieve.  I've honestly thought is all this worth it?  Does God have a bigger plan for me?  It's all so frustrating because I don't feel sick at all.

Tried to give myself a boost this week taking my kids to school, going for runs, and going to a Look Good Feel Better class.  Brady and Parker always lift my spirits, they help me forget this cancer business and I get to just play.  For my runs I've been going on the Bruce Freeman rail trail running for up to 10 minutes.  I've gone 3x in the last week.  The Look Good Feel Better class was pretty cool.  I was there with 4 other women, all older, with a cosmetician who gave us a huge makeup kit and tips for overcoming the effects of chemo.  For me it was evening skin tone and drawing on eyebrows.  It was definitely a mood boost to meet these other women, have a good laugh, and for a day look my best.  I also got a surprise from two of my neighbors - they brought me a plant and a Halloween basket full of cookies.  Turns out one of the ladies, Phyllis, is a nurse in recovery at MGH and knows my surgeon.  She too said Dr Gadd is outstanding.  Was good to see them and we appreciated the sugar boost!

With my next surgery imminent, Gary and I decided to take another weekend escape.  This time we will be going to northern NH to stay at the Mt Washington Hotel and hike around Crawford Notch.  As long as I'm feeling good I'm going to make the most of it.  Will also be fun to drive the Porsche on the Kanc.  Looking forward to a great weekend!

 A ton of free stuff in the LGFB kit

A gift from Phyllis and Karen